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November 23, 2009 / 11:32 a.m.
It's finally clear in Portland, after a string of close to a week of rain, wind and gray.
Mia woke me up this morning around five, after getting to bed last night at midnight. She was standing on the top of the couch and scratching the blinds obsessively right above my head. I'm already having a tough enough time sleeping, and then this. She'll stand at one window, rake her paw over it in quick succession filling the whole room up with a loud grating metal sound, move to the next window and repeat, and so on. At one point, half asleep, I accidentally punched her in the side... she recoiled from it. I think I was reaching for her hind leg to pull her down, and made a quick grab half asleep with my eyes closed, and hit her.
It turns out she didn't have food in her bowl, or not enough.
I went jogging this morning for the fourth day in a row. Up by the golf course, down through the middle of it, and back on the other side... my typical route. I doubled back and went up and down the sawdust path halfway back yesterday, but could barely do one lap today. Maybe one one because of the half cigarette I had yesterday (and a Marlboro at that), after going almost two weeks...
That house I looked at on Belmont, with the woman I really liked, has been a bust. I wrote her on Friday night reiterating my interest, and didn't get a response... Guess I'll be here for at least a few more weeks, unfortunately. I simply haven't had the energy to make looking for a house a full-time job lately. It's just too much to balance, too much energy to muster, when everything else is wrong. Maybe it's for the best, as I just lost a job when one of my client's lost some income and let us go. Anyway, I should be thinking cheaper. Just because I happened to have a good month, doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way, or even be close to that next month. It never is-- instability has been everything for me over the last few years.
Since it's sunny, and a day I don't have to work, I'm gonna drive out to the airport and park in that little turn-off they have for plane watching, and I'm gonna watch planes and write on my new laptop... and try to just completely distance myself from the self-inflicted emotional crap I've killed myself with over the last few weeks, if that's possible...
Gotta stop by New Seasons and order a Turkey, and stock up on groceries, too.
That's the story for today, I guess. Maybe tomorrow I'll start to feel better, start trying to get back to normal.