a library?
December 18, 2006 / 3:14 p.m.
Ahh, so Bush wants $500 million for his presidential library?
That's fine, that's the budget for two days in Iraq. But A LIBRARY!?!?!
How about a bookmobile, instead?
Ok, a book mobile is a little bit generous, don't you think?
more like one of those horrible coffee tables you find at a garage sale, with four (incredibly shitty) books (that no one has ever heard of) on it, along with seven empty (tattered) dust jackets, a half used roll of tissue paper, and an instructional manual for a vacuum cleaner built in the 60's.
LIBRARY???
This coming from a man who once was asked what his favorite children's book was and mentioned a book that was published AFTER he graduated from College.
LIBRARY?!?!?
I propose the main attraction at the Bush presidential library shall be a mock 1st grade elementary class, complete with life-like models of children and teachers.
there will be an empty seat at the head of the class, and there will be a copy of 'my pet goat' to hold.
then, as soon as you sit down to read it, someone from your family is kidnapped in front of you, or your friend is sucker punched out of nowhere, or your wife calls you from the grocery store and tells you she has just had a hand put up her skirt.
and, you see, then you just sit there with 'my pet goat' in your hands and a glossy look in your eye, and you just sit there like a complete moron for ten minutes and you do absolutely nothing. You don't say anything, you don't move anything, you don't do ANYTHING. PERIOD!
and then, when it's over, you can say you've truly experienced something Bushian.
A LIBRARY?!?!?!
How about there are two wings to the library, one with literature and books on philosophy and the history of music and collections of art and photography, and then there's a seperate wing with books on sports and military and that's it.
And the trick is, if you walk into the first one, the one with literature, the one that is actually full of purposeful books, a little mock delivery van that is attached to railing in the floor drives by, fast, and a mannequin in the front seat shouts out 'FUCKING FAGGOT!!!' at you while speeding away.
A LIBRARY?@?!?!?!?
Are you fucking mad?