what if one year the leaves don't go away
November 07, 2005 / 8:48 p.m.
I want to write about today, even though as far as distinguishing details, nothing really exists. Nothing in the sense of even being able to remember two days from now.
Last night, I was sure i was getting sick. That the next day i was going to be in full blown medical destitution.
Someone kicked the side of my bed at 6:45 in the morning (my bed that is a mattress on the floor), this is the first thing i came into this day experiencing. I pulled my earplugs out and was given a hard time for burning Curb Your Enthusiasm last night on the communal computer, because now it apparently will only burn HBO programs and nothing else.
By the time i was conscious I had been told that i needed to get up and look for work, and the front door was being slammed downstairs, and i resolved in my mind that i needed to sleep more because i had gone to bed at 1, and if they came back to give me more of a hard time or perhaps even kick me out for sleeping through that, that i would wake up with the door opening, and that i would run in my underwear to the bathroom and pretend that i was in the shower.
In reality, i could have laid in bed all day if i wanted to, and i knew that. But to drum up a sense of urgency, I guess, I made that 1 percent chance of return into fifty.
Later, after going to the library at 10, and then a quick stop at the grocery store, My teenage friend/crush came over and i made her coffee and we shared a platter of trader joe's sushi.
Today I was cold. (what else is new?)
I spent hours making my new denim coat i found at the bins on saturday with andie look older by rubbing sand paper on it. Furiously scraping the sides of my arms, my shoulders, my forearms, armpits (all the places that are supposed to 'wear') while i wore it, making myself sore. Denim dust flying everwhere... in the nostrils and shit. I blew my nose and there were two blue spots on the toilet paper where my nostrils were.
It got dark early.
Went to Peet's and I finished a disappointing novel by a nobel prize winner.
There was a nice dinner made by mom.
Perhaps a job at Goodwill?
I need sleep...