fall is here
September 26, 2005 / 10:38 a.m.
I really gotta break the cycle and not drink coffee this morning when i get back home. The weather, the sky, seems so welcoming, though, for things such as coffee and sitting in a park in a big jacket and reading while watching people and little kids walk by, or riding buses to nowhere and just watching the scenery roll by. It's no doubt, i'm a sucker for non-summer.
My life is seriously like the movie Groundhog Day. I wake up every morning and struggle to understand what day it is. Although, in the movie, Bill Murray isn't forced to wear earplugs while he sleeps or else he gets woken up by the loud sound piss spashing into the toilet water ten feet away from his head. Buy it's all the same.
I have no real motivation to do anything concrete with my life. I wish i could write. I wish i could make the effort to get a job that i could go to everyday. I wish a lot of things.
I wish sara didn't fuck me out of a friendship (i need a good buddy), I wish i wasn't so out of it that i couldn't get off the couch to Heather and Amanda's parties on saturday. I wish i wish i wish.
There were boxes placed onto my bed last thursday, in a passive aggressive attempt to get me to understand that i'm being thrown out again. With no words stated. Read the signs.
Here's a sign for you. It's called You're A Fucking Insensitive Prick Who's Never Acknowledged a Single Emotion in Your Entire Life.