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May 29, 2005 / 8:19 p.m.
Erik and Mom took me out to the Montage for my birthday, where I got the shrimp gumbo and a midori sour, and then we went to Rimsky's where i got some cheescake and a latte. It was nice. I'm very grateful to them for this, as i was having a bad day. Even though they didn't know. Erik bought me a basketball, but it was too small, and we debated whether or not Fred Meyer's would take it back after it had already been removed from its box.
The lead singer of the Shins was standing outside next to me after we ate, waiting to get in and eat. He was wearing fancing clothes, and standing with his girlfriend that was rejected off America's Next Top Model. I smiled to myself when i thought of his reaction if i said 'Did McDonald's give those clothes to you?' As they sold a song of theirs for McDonalds to use on a commecial for like $600,000.
I'm way past caring about that, though. I'd probably do the same thing. If it was between washing dishes for rent and selling a song to some sleazy corporation and creating all the free time in the world to make music.
Ignoring the confusing nature of us, I kind of have this fantasy where you get back to portland and you call me up for the first time to say you're back. And then i cut you off and I say-- without saying 'i'm glad you're back' or 'how are you'-- "You're gonna come over to my house right now, and i'm gonna be lying in my bed. You're gonna open the back door and come up to my room. You're not gonna say a word, and i'm not gonna say a word, and you're gonna take off all your clothes while i'm watching you in the dark, and then you're gonna stand over me with your feet on either side of my head, and you're gonna sit on my face.
And if you do anything different; if you giggle, if you say you're glad to be back in a whisper in between pieces of clothes coming off, if you don't take off your socks... you will get pinched fucking hard, and you're gonna get spanked so hard it's way past being kinky. And you can trust me when i say it's gonna hurt and you're gonna wish you hadn't messed up. I'll see you soon." And then I'll hang up.