off to suena
April 29, 2005 / 10:35 a.m.
Last night as the meeting was winding up and i was feeling more and more like i had to slap the manic woman next to me to get her back into reality....
and terrible shriek, the worst scream you could imagine, came from outside, in the middle distance.
half the room ran outside. the manic woman said 'that's irene, i know it. she was acting weird earlier'
it turns out that some lady who we didn't know had just found out her husband had died. and obviously in a car accident or something similar, as there's no way on earth that you'd scream like that if you knew it was coming, if it was cancer, etc.
that scream just penetrated into my soul, because it was night, because i haven't been feeling so good.
and i was just frozen there in the room, with the smokers outside the front door being able to drift their smoke barely into the room and make it come to my nose.
so depressed today for some reason. i think i know what it is, but hopefully it repairs itself soon.
watched three movies in a row yesterday. applied for the job delivering cakes on the weekend. they called me back and want me to come in.
there's a dance party tonight that i've been invited to. don't know if i will go. not if i feel like this. i invited amanda to come with me just now, despite that.
as i was walking into the library this morning the library was chasing out a guy who comes here every morning. this old guy who is deteriorating obviously, and wears a safari hat and sweatpants rolled up to his ankles, with really cheesy cheap white tennis shoes.
it was this librarian who gets a certain thrill out of yelling at people for really serious offenses like... using two cards on the same day...
his face was so red, and he was chasing this guy out the front door as i was walking in, shouting the library's policy of tresspassing, as apparently he had violated some ordanance.
'YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN OR NEAR COUNTY LIBRARY PREMISES UNTIL JULY 29TH OF THIS YEAR. IF YOU VIOLATE THIS ORDER YOU WILL....'
and then i tuned him out, and walked on.
i'm gonna go finish reading the new yorker article about the UPS airborne fleet.
and drink a coffee.
maybe it will knock me back into reality.